“Two are better than one…”
That’s the conclusion of the wisest man who ever lived – King Solomon in Ecclesiastes 4:9.
However, when it comes to marriage and the “two becoming one,” there are many who would disagree.
Marriage is an unnecessary and extraneous step in a relationship, critics argue. It’s more of a hindrance than a help. It’s a shackle not a treasure.
After thirty-four years of marriage, I say the critics are wrong.
Though marriage isn’t always easy, as John and I’ve embraced the miraculous yet difficult task of becoming one, we are discovering the sweet gift of marriage God always intended.
For it isn’t good for a man to be alone. Or a woman, for that matter.
Doing Life Together
Years ago, I found this poem as I was writing my wedding gift book, With This Ring: Promises to Keep. It spoke deeply to me as a 36-year-old wife and mother. But after thirty-four years of marriage, it’s becoming more real and precious as John and I daily experience the sweet truth of the words penned by Michael C. Blumenthal.
“A Marriage”
You are holding up a ceiling
with both arms. It is very heavy,
but you must hold it up, or else
it will fall down on you. Your arms
are tired, terribly tired,
and, as the day goes on, it feels
as if either your arms or the ceiling
will soon collapse.
But then,
unexpectedly,
something wonderful happens:
Someone,
a man or a woman,
walks into the room
and holds their arms up
to the ceiling beside you.
So you finally get
to take down your arms.
You feel the relief of respite,
the blood flowing back
to your fingers and arms
And when your partner’s arms tire,
you hold up your own
to relieve him again.
And it can go on like this
for many years
without the house falling.
To My Forever Love
During this week of Valentine’s Day, I’ve been thinking a lot about the wonderful gift of my husband.
I’m sorry to say that early in our marriage, I was oblivious to the beauty of who John is. I spent far more time trying to change my husband than enjoying the treasure I’d been given.
Yet through it all, John kept loving me – even at my worst. Accepting me even as I was rejecting him. Choosing to love me over and over, despite my unloveliness.
Gratefully, God refused to my insistent request that He change my husband and chose to work on me instead. Challenging my critical attitude and awful pride – a toxic combination that would have destroyed our love had I been married to a lesser man.
The faithfulness of God, and the commitment we’d made at the altar, held us together during that rough patch. Proving once again the words of King Solomon:
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12
If you’ve said “I do” and pledged your love to another, don’t miss the gift God has entrusted to you. Don’t pull back in judgment and disappointment. Step forward and embrace the gift. Allow God to change your heart and teach you how to love.
If you’ve never been married, or have gone through the heartbreak of widowhood or divorce ..never forget, you are betrothed to the Lover of Your Soul.
Jesus is already standing beside you, helping you bear the load. You are not alone. Don’t be discouraged. Don’t be dismayed. Instead, take a deep breath and link arms with Him.
For two are definitely better than one.
I’d love to hear from you…what part of marriage means the most to you?
Love this post!
Thanks, April! Appreciate you stopping by and leaving a note. Blessings!
My husband and I will celebrate our 37th wedding anniversary on March 3, 2016. We have experienced many trials in our marriage, due to health issues, including my breast cancer in 2005, caring for aging parents, job loss, financial concerns and more. Yet, God has guided us through each situation. I am so very thankful that we are God’s children and He cares for us. Having God in our marriage helps make us love each other and care for each other even more. We are blessed.
Congratulations on 37 years, Melissa! Having the Lord at the center, not the outside corners of our marriage really does make the difference.
The best part of marriages aside from having someone to share my life with is knowing that I don’t have to face anything alone. He is there beside me. My greatest joy was the day I submitted to God and my husband, now I am more free than ever. Knowing that God and my husband are taking care of me. No I am not held down by this I am lifted up.
Love that, Karen! I’ve found the same thing to be true. Though the world – and our FLESH! – hate the word submission, there is so much freedom when we do marriage and life God’s way.
We’re about to have our 34th Anniversary in June, and I’d say that I love the friendship part. I LIKE my husband, as well as love him!
I love being with him, doing things with him (even if that “thing” isn’t all that interesting to me), just being and not doing or thinking I have to be someone other than myself. He gets me. I get him. We are definitely a team.
So beautiful, Denise! That’s been my thought this week – I really LIKE this guy! He makes me laugh and he’s my shelter in the storm. Best of all, he always points me to Jesus!
Love this, Joanna! We celebrated 17 years on Saturday…. 17 perfectly imperfect years. I posted that, “… there has been bliss, and there has been blunder, but I love him more today than I did hundreds of yesterday’s ago… ” And, it’s true. I wish I could say that I wasn’t guilty of the same, of trying for years to change this man whom I supposedly loved. Wow, has it taken a lot for me to learn the beautiful lesson you share here. I’m so grateful for a Godly man who has stood by my side and shown me unconditional love. I’m grateful for mentors such as you and your sweet hubby, who have paved the way for those of us coming in behind you. Thank you!
Bliss and blunder – doesn’t that sum it up well! Congratulations on 17 years, my friend. It just gets sweeter and sweeter!
Hard to believe it’s been 27 years! Military family and at least 12 deployments. Been dad & mom & pray that each time he returns it’ll be an easy transition. Hardest part is for things to fall back into place.
It goes so fast doesn’t it, Ashley? I’ll be praying for you and the transitions, that would be hard. Maybe that idea of letting the other person hold up the ceiling for awhile will help 🙂
I have been married 25 years and my favorite part is when we read the Bible, study scriptures and discuss together. We both learn so much from each other’s perspective. I love praying together, attending church together and going to small groups as a couple. We love anything where God is the center for that is how a good marriage is built (on a firm foundation). I once was diagnosed terminal with two months to live and the Lord answered our prayers…so I especially cherish every moment together. Praise God for Blessing me with a man after God’s heart!
Wow, Brandi! I can’t even imagine how much a brush with death would change a person’s perspective. I’m so glad you shared your story and what means the most to you. Beautiful!
28 years for us with the best and the worst mixed in.
I, too, was/am full of pride and stubbornness. God gave me a man who taught me, guided me and continually loves me.
Our marriage today is sweeter and stronger than ever.
It really is amazing, isn’t it Naomi? When we let God get His hands on us and our marriages, He makes it more beautiful than we ever dreamed. Love you and Dave so much!